A Liars Art of Persuasion

A Liars art of Persuasion 1

Have you ever experienced talking to someone who just can’t fail to make you believe every word he says? In one occasion or more, you may have bumped into someone you know who may really be gifted with speech or the art of lying. And oftentimes, you know it in your guts that there is something wrong with what the person may be telling you. You feel that it isn’t true. But the worst is not that you’re being pushed to listen or to stay courteous throughout the conversation but that you actually believe everything the person says. This does not only apply to common individuals conversing but also to relationships like marriage and even between business partners.

So how will you react to situations like this? How would you save yourself from actually believing a lie no matter how beautiful it may sound? Well, the first sure step is to learn how liars lie, how they persuade people into making them believe every word they say. Below are some of the liar’s strategies.

The art that works

Someone once said that lying is not classified as science, rather, it is more of an art. An art can be anything that inspires a person or motivates him to do something great. An art is something that has a goal. In other words, the art of lying is lying with an end-goal in mind. So if you are to understand how the lie works on you or on someone else, you’ve got to find out what inspires the lying person to lie and to know at least in part what the person’s goal is in his deceit – it could be to outwit you into making more money for his account than on an account you both share or simply to hide an unfaithfulness committed when a spouse is away somewhere.

When a liar starts his deception, he starts like he is writing a book or making a movie. He goes through a sequence of acts that will get you engaged in the topic and make you interested in what he has to say next.

A really good liar will start with acknowledging people who have contributed to his good standing. This, in many cases, will make the listener think the person he is listening to is such a saint or that he knows how to appreciate other people and this makes him look and sound selfless. When a listener thinks positively about a person, the listener will not question the next words that will come out of a liar’s mouth. And to simply put, this is the set up stage of a liar.

So, how can you avoid being set up by a liar whether in a relationship or in business dealings? The next paragraph will tell you how to know if someone is even trying to set you up to believing a lie and taking advantage of your vulnerability.

Be your own lie detector

As psychologists say, there are many ways on how you can tell if a person is lying to you about something or someone. By simply observing a person’s body language, you will learn what is truth and what is a lie as you speak. Some of the body languages suggested by psychologists include the following:

• Hesitation in answering a question.
• Not making eye contact while speaking.
• Unusual changes in the tone of voice during the course of a conversation.
• Folding arms across chest.
• Looking down on the floor.
• Pretending to watch people passing by while talking.
• Rubbing hair/head.
• Scratching part of body like the arm, the ear, or the back of the hand.
• Rubbing hands together as if feeling cold.
• Touching the neck or playing with a jewelry (ring, necklace, or earring).

These ten eA Liars art of Persuasion 2xamples of body languages may not always be what you observe in lying people. They can vary from one to another. Their body languages may not even be one of those listed. But there are two goals of body languages – to keep a liar calm and to divert a listener’s attention to the action and not focus on the real discussion at hand.

So how do you effectively catch a lie and therefore, a liar? If you know the person very well, it is easy to tell just by simply observing his body language. But if you do not know the person well or you’ve just met him, you can try the following:

• If it is a business-related meeting or talk and you are suspicious about something, you can start off by asking innocent questions. If the person you are talking to has something up his sleeve, you will notice a caution in his response. Some would even be hysterical or be angry that you asked that question if they feel threatened that their lie will be detected. They will often say, “So, you don’t trust me?” as to try and make you feel sorry you asked the question.

• You can use body languages, too, but you will have to take time to observe the person either from a distance or while you are talking. This may be a bit harder but will be worth it in the end. To use body language as your basis, make sure you’ve built rapport with the person and that he is relaxed and feeling comfortable talking to you. Once the person is confident he has a friend in you, it will be easy for you to observe his usual, regular, normal actions or behaviors. If you are confident about your observation, you can begin your investigation by slowly bringing up a topic you may be suspicious about by following the first suggestion above.